Sweet D.C.

{Most of you know that I grew up in D.C. Though I live in Pittsburgh now, D.C. is home,the place I long to return to, the place I want to spend more time in as an adult. This was another writing assignment in college. My professor ended up booking a weekend in D.C. shortly after reading this. I can never do the city justice with my words, I know, but this is just one of the many experiences that will stay with me until the end of time.}

Sweet D.C.

A walk through the nations capitol at night is a far cry from the walks one takes during the day. Along the winding Potomac, across the lawn next to the Reflecting Pool, standing at the base of the Washington Monument, everything is different. Gone is the blazing summer sun and heavy smog, and in its place is an almost tropical evening air.

The traffic slows on the surrounding streets. During rush hour the fumes from dump trucks, the squealing tires of a Porche that had a near miss, and the low hum of the Metro assault my senses on every corner. In the middle of the night I can see the brand new Lexus pass beneath the Beltway interchange. I can hear the road debris crunch beneath the tires of the stretch limo escorting a party of political officials as it stop at a light just changed from yellow to serious red. Absent are the blaring horns, thumping bass and shouts of road raged drivers.

Winding my way out of the patch of shrubbery onto the open grounds and the smell of cherry blossoms overwhelms me. The stench of exhaust is a distant memory. With a deep breath my nostrils are filled with their essence, the smell of pretzels sold from the metal carts and the lingering trace of a womans expensive perfume.

Beyond the carousel with its romantic lilt I can hear the sounds of other night owls enjoying the city. A jazz band in a martini bar, opera from the Italian ristorante and the play by play report from the sports bar. Easy listening pours from a side street hideaway frequented by lovers, especially those whos trysts will make the morning Post because they’re from the hill.

Across the bridge is the naval yard, never quiet, always guarded by one of the few, one of the proud- a United States Marine. With his firearm swung to hang down his back he stands watch. As if moved by a force not seen, I suddenly find myself standing at The Wall.
Softly lit, cool to the touch, I take it all in. At the opposite end of where you stand, too far for you to touch but too close to allow privacy, there stands a Marine in dress blues. Through his quiet sobs I hear the story of orders received, memories yet to be made and hidden pride hidden just beneath the surface.

As the tears trail down my face I turn to stare at him. With the execution of a perfect salute, he begins to walk away. A chill runs down my face as the wind begins to blow and in the distance I swear I can hear a lone bugle playing “Taps”.


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Where I’m From

{This was a writing assignment for Composition I in college. It was the only class that I received all A’s in, the only time I can remember making a professor and fellow classmates cry. I like that I can write from the heart and move people around me. I hope you enjoy it.}

Where I’m From

I am from skeletons in the closet
Secrets kept, never told
I’m from runaway trains
On a one way track
Moss covered rocks, faulty condoms and an old knapsack

I am from the cycle
Rumored never ending
Disproved because I’m free
I’m from God’s redeeming grace
Strong enough, brave enough
To never tolerate
To heal from
The weight of those trains pressing down on me

I’m from Texas, Mexico, southern Virginia and sweet D.C.
Where they came from, I’ll never go
I’ll never be
For their closed minds and closed doors
Are now my own open windows of opportunity

I’m from the truth shall set you free
I’d rather die standing than live on my knees
From the chorus often repeated of the song “Let It Be”
The girl in the mirror with tears in her eyes
The one I used to see
Now I’m a woman with her shoulders back
Head held high
From the ashes of their  ruined lives,  that phoenix rising is me


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Sex Sells

Someone passed this link along and now I’m doing the same. Supposedly the company is selling clothes but there weren’t many to be seen. However, I’d buy them just the same. Just as long as they promise to keep up the oh-so-sexy advertising campaign.

*This link is not intended to be viewed in the company of children, parents, or in the work environment- I’d hate to get you fired*

http://www.sexpacking.com/


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



On The Spot Comments

With all of the problems I’ve been having with getting my domain name tranferred to my new host, I’ve decided to handle comments differently. Maybe the change will be permanent, maybe not. For now however I will respond to comments in the comments section.

I’ve seen others do this and I hope they don’t feel that I am ripping them off or copying their style blatantly. I find that it’s easier that way and it also allows for others to read things that I wish to elaborate on. In the event that no one wants to leave a comment, I will provide an email address under the ‘Contact Me’ section of my site.

I enjoy hearing from all of you and I hope that you’ll continue to come back, continue to comment.


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Riding Into The Night

The weekend was amazing. We spent a lot of time just being, a lot of time in the moments. I like that about us. At some point we talked about the differences in our sex drives. Not that it’s incredibly different, but we often see making love in two different lights. It was nice to lay my fears and insecurities in front of him and hear his side of things.

Last night there were no differences.

We made our way to our room, all the while kissing and laughing just the way we normally do. We undressed and slipped beneath the comforter. His kisses rained down across my forehead, to my lips then my breasts. I felt alive and beautiful, tempting. I heard his whispered request to ride him, but I declined.

I’m not a tiny girl. Riding him is hot and God knows I love it, but that’s all I need- to kill him by crushing him to death. He’s well built but I still feel as if I’ll hurt him. He tells me otherwise, but the fear is there just the same. So, once more I told him no. Yeah right. What The Knight wants my Master gets. All it took was “I want to be in you, I want to watch you. Now.”

I slid down over his cock and rocked back and forth. He watched me like a starving man watches his dinner being prepared. In a matter of seconds I felt my orgasm starting to take control and I stopped. I didn’t want to climax without him. “Don’t stop” he whispered while taking my hair in his hands, angling to see my face. I moaned and whimpered, told him that I didn’t want to come without him. He tugged my hair and pulled my mouth to his and thrust his cock deep into me. I gripped the headboard and let each wave of pleasure wash over me.

I knew he was close so I tried to find it in me to finish but I couldn’t. Riding him for the little while that I did had already depleted my reserves. I whispered my apologies as he rolled me onto my hands and knees. He shushed me and told me that it was ok, that he didn’t mind taking me from behind, but he wanted to see my beautiful face as we made love.

Moments later he was fucking me senseless. The scent of my sex mingled with the scent of him and with a well placed blow to my ass, the ass he swears is perfection, I felt myself on the edge of climax once more. One last thrust and I felt him fill me to overflowing.

After, when we laid wrapped in one anothers arms I apologized once more but he wouldn’t hear it. He explained that he’d been so close to finishing with me on top of him, but he knew that I’d had enough, that he got to see me orgasm once and it was delicious. I loved knowing that I’d pleased him, that I’d made him feel as good as he made me feel.

This morning the after glow is still going strong and I’m wondering if it’s always felt this good, riding into the night.


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Chasing Cars

{Please watch the video….if nothing else, at least listen to the song. Sometimes, we need to hold and be held, we need to love and be loved. It’s a melancholy song for a melancholy day. Maybe I just need The Knight.}

Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars

[grouper=mtg/mtgPlayer.swf?gvars=vurl~http%3a%2f%2fgrouper.com%2frss%2fflv.ashx%3fid%3d1426877_rf%7e600699_vfver~8_ap~0_extid~-1;321;265]

View on Grouper.com

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?
Add a video comment to this video


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



My Heart Is In The Right Place

I guess it was bound to happen. Things have been going so well with us lately, I had hoped that it would stay that way, but I knew better. We fought last night. I don’t know why, exactly, but I’m sure feeling lonely and insecure has a lot to do with it. Even this morning we’re out of sorts with one another and I simply do not know how to handle it.

I know we’re both going through this thing. I know it isn’t just me. Is it any wonder that I have a hard time leaning on him? I’m trying to be considerate of him, of the things he has going on in addition to me. Right now all I want to do is run….as far and as fast as I possibly can. I want to take away the stress and the hassle that comes from loving me in general and the new hassle that comes from loving me right now.

When you love someone you want to be a good presence in their lives. You want to make them smile, wipe away their tears, and offer your shoulder. If making them coffee every morning helps get them motivated to face the day or if a massage every evening helps them get to sleep, even if it’s a pain and it’s the last thing you want to do, you do it. At least I do. That’s what love is about- putting them first, making them and the love you share a priority.

Instead of making things easier on him, I’ve made it worse. Right now I hate myself. I hate the person I’ve become. I detest the fear, the insecurity, the inability to be who I was even mere weeks ago. Will I ever get this right? Will I ever just take things as they come and not stress about the state of “us”?

I take it for granted that “we” will always be. Our easy friendship, our moments of intense passion…it all seems so simple, so impossibly natural that I forget that it takes work. And when things are less than perfect, that’s when I need to believe more than ever. I try, I really do….God knows my heart is in the right place. Now if only I can make The Knight see it.


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Underneath

Sometimes it’s hard when you’re so deep inside
To see all you can lose in a blink of an eye
Dreams could be shattered
You could be gone
How would I survive
Cause you’re where I belong
My soul-believer
Without you, I don’t know who I would be

Underneath, I can feel you move through me
Inside out, you surround me
I breathe you like I’m taking my last breath
Oh, you’re everything I know
So how could I let you go

Sometimes I listen to a voice that isn’t mine
I disconnect from everything inside
And I have made choices
And wasted all the days
I could have been with you
Where my heart stayed
I know you’ve waited faithfully
Blessing our love even stronger

Underneath, I can feel you move through me
Inside out, you surround me
I breathe you like I’m taking my last breath
Oh, you’re everything I know
So how could I let you go

And I’ve been blessed
For every kiss
For every breath
(How could I let you down)
And I’ve been touched,
By hands I trust
My love is risen

Underneath, I can feel you move through me
Inside out, you surround me
I breathe you like I’m taking my last breath
Oh, you’re everything I know
So how could I let you
How could I let you go

~Underneath by Jessica Simpson~


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

It’s been a rough day. I’ve cried a lot and thought a lot. God knows I’ve prayed a lot too. Some days I’m more exhausted than others and it seems like it’s on those days that I deal with more than just being tired. Today has been one of those days and here’s a little of what I’ve learned.

My skin and hair were once things I thought of as belssings- where my voluptuous body fell short of my own ideal (and societys ideal) of perfection, I had porcelain skin and silky, thick, auburn tresses. Not so much lately. My skin is pale and I have an occasional blemish. My hair is dry and frizzy with more limp waves than curls. Hormones, I know. I shake my head in digust as I get into the shower, hoping to get rid of my headache and the unclean feeling.

In the shower I do my treatment. Betadine & water burn like hell but at least it’s following doctors orders. I wash my hair, soap up my skin and I let the water wash away the impurities in my heart as well as those on the surface of my skin.

I’m about to turn the water off when something catches my eye- rather, something DOESN’T catch my eye. The round curve of my stomach. It used to be visible beyond the slope of my aging breasts. I could guarantee you that even if the rest of the world changed, that not-so-little place where I carried my babies would always be there, making its presence known. Today, that changed. Oh, it’s there, don’t worry. But it’s smaller. I can no longer see it beyond the slope of my breasts.

Of all the diets I have tried. Of all the diets that have failed. Who would have known that the cancer & life stress diet would be the one that would finally work? I guess, dear friends, that todays lesson for me is that every cloud- even the cancerous, no sex one- has a silver lining.


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



To Be Loved

Last night I slept like a baby. I snuggled up close to the man of my dreams, safe and sound. For the first night in a very long time, I slept without nightmares. I wasn’t restless and I didn’t contemplate getting out of bed. All I wanted was to be close to him.

With the doctors orders to refrain from sex, I’m going insane. I’ve touched him, teased him, and made love to him with my mouth but instead of the release I normally find, I’m more frustrated than ever. It’s ok though because as I explained to him, I certainly don’t feel sexy or attractive by any stretch of the imagination. Even when the ban is lifted, I don’t think I’ll be interested. Yes, it’s that bad.

Nothing compares to this feeling. Making love with The Knight is amazing. I love the connection and the pleasure, the orgasms and the fluid bonding but the closeness I feel without it is better. I guess that’s what it’s all about, really. I’m just sorry that it took a sexual hiatus and cervical cancer to show me what’s important, to remind me how it feels to be loved.

**********************************************************************

“Your love is released
And you move me with ease
And you rescue me time after time
Oh you give your all
And you take it all in your stride

Oh with all the power of a symphony
That’s how my heart beats when you’re holding me
I can’t conceal, this is how it feels
To be loved by you
Oh yeah, to be loved by you
If everybody knows, it’s only ’cause it shows
Because I take your love, Everywhere I go

I know what it is I need, it’s clear as a shallow stream
It’s as it seems, my only dreams
To be loved by you”

~To Be Loved by Westlife~


Email this post Email this post

  • Share/Bookmark



Pages



This site contains material that is suitable only for those age 18+
Buy Sex Toys

If you wish to be linked back to me, please email me. I have tried to include those who link to me as well as those that I read daily, but if I've missed you, get in touch.
The Butterfly Temptress

Tags


Bloggers' Rights at EFF
Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape
Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview
Sex Toys @ VibeReview!

Add to Technorati Favorites
best porn blogs
Sex Blog Directory

Alltop, all the cool kids (and me)
Creative Commons License
The Butterfly Temptress by https://thebutterflytemptress.com/ is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Meta



AUTHOR

  • profileI like to think that I am just your average fat bisexual submissive housewife with a heart of gold. When I'm not battling cancer I can usually be found tackling the joys and pitfalls that come with being not only an ex-wife and a mother but also a sexual abuse survivor. I believe that healing is possible even when it comes to sex lives. And when our house finally falls silent at the end of the day I chronicle my journey for the world to see. My writing covers everything from relationships and marriage to sex advice pieces and sex toy reviews.Soon I hope to begin podcasting and other collaborative projects. And if you didn't know it yet, I'm a comment and email junkie, so don't hesitate to drop me a line.

TWEETS

  • Twitter Updates

      follow me on Twitter

    Archives

    Categories

    Syndicate