I’m not ready to talk about it yet. So I’m not going to. Instead, I’m going to be like the ostrich and bury my head in the polluted emotional sand and stay there as long as my breath will allow. I know it isn’t healthy and I know it isn’t right, but for now, it’s what I want.

I’m only here to share with you a dream. A dream I had while not asleep but not awake, a dream that came to me in a still place of jumbled thoughts and major confusion as clear as clear can be.

I was perched on the edge of something amazing. The suns rays covered me and danced on the water in the distance and I knew that I was seeing something miraculous. I raised my arms high above my head and ignored the curious stares of brightly colored flamingos. I raised my arms higher than I ever remember raising them before.

The wind began to blow in the gentle way that late summer winds tend to do and with it all the memories of my youth had gone from my memory. I couldn’t remember a time or a place, a person or their face. The only thing I knew was the moment with all its oddities and inexplicable things. The wind picked up and for a moment I thought I had finally lost my balance.

I closed my eyes and felt myself begin to fall. The moisture from the air kissed by naked skin and I knew I was falling in slow motion, but I welcomed the exhilaration of the experience. I opened my eyes and saw before me all the things I never understood before.

My body hit the mattress as I hit the ground and I didn’t know where I was. I couldn’t tell my husband the day or the date but I knew he loved me. I knew that I was safe. All I could do was smile and tell him that I’d had a dream.