Not too long ago Edenfantasys proposed that I write a few pieces for them detailing what it’s like to deal with cancer. As a sex toy company they were definitely interested in how the cancer diagnosis had impacted our sex life and my sexuality but they were also interested in knowing how it changed my life and my marriage as a whole.
I read the email and asked the questions that I thought of. Then I sat back to think about whether or not I was willing to lay bare my soul in quite this way. Yes, I blog. I blog about sex; I blog about cancer. Blogging about how those things really feel or how they truly impact the most important aspects of your life is something completely different.
Then I realized that maybe this was something that needed to be written about. Why? Of all the articles on the Internet that I read or found myself directed to, very few mentioned the effects of cancer, chemo, or radiation on a woman’s sex life. I didn’t know when all of this started if it was normal to still desire my husband much less need to have an orgasm. I had no idea what to expect or what was normal. But I didn’t understand why no one had written about it.
So, I started writing. I wrote an article and I cried the entire way through. Another article took me three days to write. Other pieces and parts of articles came easily and they made me see myself in a different light.
Just before they started posting my articles on their blog I received an email asking me to set up a PayPal account and provide them with a button for donations. Edenfantasys had decided that they would match any donation made between then and November 18th. I was absolutely shocked and overwhelmed. So, I did as they asked.
Now, Catalina and the commUNITY at Best Sex Bloggers have decided to keep the articles going. Soon you will be able to read the articles there in their entirety. It’s amazing what happens when people pull together and I am honored to be a part of something so wonderful, to call many of them friends.
So a little time has passed and now you will notice a donation button in my sidebar. I swore I would never have one. To me, it’s an honor that you visit my site and read what I write here. However, some people have expressed concern about knowing that their intended donations reached the person, etc. With a donation button linked directly to an account specifically for this purpose, people can rest assured that their donations are going where they want them to go, if they choose to donate.
This is an odd place for me to be. I’m used to being the one who sets up donations for people. Families who can’t give their children a proper Christmas. Coats, blankets, and meal vouchers for homeless men and women in DC. Care packages and handwritten letters for men and women serving their country in Iraq and Afghanistan. There are many other things that I have organized and been a part of; things that warmed my heart and nurtured my soul in ways that no one will ever understand.
To be on the receiving end of an amazing gift is indescribable and I thank all of you from the bottom of my overflowing heart.
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I like to think that I am just your average fat bisexual submissive housewife with a heart of gold. When I'm not battling cancer I can usually be found tackling the joys and pitfalls that come with being not only an ex-wife and a mother but also a sexual abuse survivor. I believe that healing is possible even when it comes to sex lives. And when our house finally falls silent at the end of the day I chronicle my journey for the world to see. My writing covers everything from relationships and marriage to sex advice pieces and sex toy reviews.Soon I hope to begin podcasting and other collaborative projects. And if you didn't know it yet, I'm a comment and email junkie, so don't hesitate to drop me a line.
21 Comments so far
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[...] it is for us, her CommUNITY, to march beside her into battle. You can read her post about finally accepting the support that I know this CommUNITY can offer her, and I don’t just mean financial support. Please spread the word. Twitter the link. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Time For Our CommUNITY To Work Together For The Butterfly Temptress on 10.17.08 2:52 pm | Permalink
[...] it is for us, her CommUNITY, to march beside her into battle. You can read her post about finally accepting the support that I know this CommUNITY can offer her, and I don’t just mean financial support. Please spread the word. Twitter the link. Please [...]
By Catalina Loves » Catalina loves The Butterfly Temptress: A CommUNITY Call To Action on 10.17.08 3:02 pm | Permalink
Well, I don’t know you, but from what Catalina says, you are a Strong woman. We all go through times where it seems like there are no answers. It’s never easy. It’s all going to work out out for you. I can feel it. Don’t forget thoughts become things, so stay positive!! I will make sure to through some positive thoughts with your name on them just to be double sure!
By Sabrina on 10.17.08 5:43 pm | Permalink
Butterfly, this is a time that submission is not acceptable. Get that wing fixed so that you may soar once again.
keeping you in my thoughts….
By smuttylittle1 on 10.17.08 5:59 pm | Permalink
your story is very moving. It looks like a lot of people are pulling for you, a lot of good energy headed your way. I will pray for you, it always helps. Keep positive!
By laChapin on 10.17.08 9:31 pm | Permalink
Know that you are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.
Dragon Mage´s last blog post..commUNITY
By Dragon Mage on 10.18.08 8:38 am | Permalink
[...] Then the doctor told me that it had stopped working; the cancer had spread to my lymph system. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part I on 10.18.08 9:03 am | Permalink
[...] Life.Love.Cancer - CommUNITY [...]
By It Just Gets Kinkier Every Week: The Week In Kink #14 — Catalina Says on 10.18.08 2:28 pm | Permalink
[...] Life.Love.Cancer - CommUNITY [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » As If We Didn’t Have Enough Kink Here - The Week In Kink (#14) on 10.18.08 2:45 pm | Permalink
[...] Life.Love.Cancer - CommUNITY [...]
By The Briefing Room at BackdoorBondage.com » Sgt. Major & Backdoor Bondage Make The Week In Kink #14 on 10.18.08 10:01 pm | Permalink
[...] it is for us, her CommUNITY, to march beside her into battle. You can read her post about finally accepting the support that I know this CommUNITY can offer her, and I don’t just mean financial support. Please spread the word. Twitter the link. Please [...]
By youdopia.com » An Appeal For Aid From Someone Fighting Cancer Without Insurance In America on 10.19.08 8:43 am | Permalink
[...] I knew we would be ok. I knew in my heart of hearts that this whole cancer thing wouldn’t tear us apart. It would only make us [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part II on 10.19.08 9:03 am | Permalink
Keep your chin up, BT. Things will work out.
By Sexorcism on 10.19.08 4:35 pm | Permalink
[...] Life.Love.Cancer - CommUNITY [...]
By Bondage-Radio » Catalina loves The Week In Kink #14 on 10.20.08 8:14 am | Permalink
[...] It’s also for me. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part III on 10.20.08 9:03 am | Permalink
You are so very strong. I wish someday to have your strength. If I had extra funds, I would make a donation. If you lived closer I would offer dinners for your family… for now, I can only pray for you! You are in my thoughts daily!
MsKittyFantastico´s last blog post..Another favorite…
By MsKittyFantastico on 10.20.08 3:03 pm | Permalink
Love for you. Live–keep living, fiercely. As I read, amazed, you are articulating what is in my heart.
A thousand blessings, and thank you.
By Denise on 10.20.08 9:46 pm | Permalink
[...] Today I am alive. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part IV on 10.21.08 9:02 am | Permalink
[...] I just want everything that is him to be wrapped up in everything that is us until the end of my time. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part V on 10.22.08 9:01 am | Permalink
[...] Without apology, The Butterfly Temptress [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part VI on 10.23.08 9:03 am | Permalink
[...] If I would have taken my own advice, I might not be fighting for my life. [...]
By The Best Sex Bloggers » Life.Love.Cancer: Part VII on 10.27.08 12:49 pm | Permalink
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