I knew, as certain as the sun would rise the next day, that once I took the step I was about to take, my life, my world, would never be the same. Gone would be the days of playing games, teasing guys, stuck between manhood and boydom and no exit plan in sight, days of being who I thought i should be, who I thought I wanted to be. If I followed my heart, my soul, and met THE ONE as he wished me to meet him, I’d be lost forever.
As I stripped down to nothing but my own stretch marked skin and turned on the shower of some bargain chain motel, my mind drifted. To the chats on the Internet, to the emails, and to the hours long phone conversations. He was right, I suppose, about us not being strangers when we met for the first time. How could I agree to meet a stranger at this hour in his sandbox, on his terms? I never would have. But this man, he was no stranger.
I perched first one leg, then the other, on the side of the slippery tub to shave them. As stupid as it may sound, that shaving session was symbolic, because gone were the fine hairs that covered my body, but so were the inhibitions and hesitations about being me, about being the woman I longed to be. I cut myself, by my ankle, and I had to smile as I watched the blood begin to drip. I was alive and the drops were proof, but after tonight I’d not need to see the proof in such form. I knew it, in my heart, and in my soul.
While I watched my reflection in the mirror and hummed along to the radio, the shrill of my cell phone startled me back to reality. Hesitantly I picked it up and listened to the voice on the other end. My heart skipped a beat, then went into a rhythm I’d not recognized since the days of school dances and Christmas mornings. He repeated the directions and I hung on his every word. I wanted to be as close to perfect as a late twenty something single mother of two could be. With a nervous smile, I said goodbye and laid myself across the bed. The only thing left to do was put my hair up, as he’d instructed, so I zoned a little longer.
I twisted my hair up and into the clip, a ponytail. No makeup, also as he’d instructed. I noticed that my hands were shaking, ever so slightly, and my bottom lip was almost purple where I’d been biting it. I knew that lipstick was a no go, so I licked my lips and said a prayer to God, for safety and protection, but also for this to be what I really thought it was, my One, IT, for the rest of my life. My mobile shrieked, as if to taunt me with news of his arrival. A brief conversation and two seconds later, there I was.
Naked, kneeling, with my hands clasped behind my back. I lowered my head and listened to the slamming of the car door. Funny, but it never crossed my mind, not even once, to get up and do anything differently than what I was doing right then. Does one not owe it to themselves to face their destiny head on, without hesitation?
With a knock, he entered. I saw his shoes and could tell by the way his pants fell that they were expensive. For a second, maybe two, I held my breath. Would he send me home? Would he be displeased? Would he find me lacking, completely unsuitable? I realize now that I never answered those questions for myself, because as he lifted me, ever so gently from my knees to his arms, he’d answered them for me.
I looked up and saw before me the most amazingly sexy man I’d ever seen. His features, dark and serious, held a light and a tenderness like I’d never known. His romance novel good looks captured my libido, but his sent from heaven soul captivated my own like no other. As I trembled my way through our first kiss, his touch was unwavering, but far from pushy. In an odd way, it felt good to be caressed and fondled, like a new toy, or better yet, like his prized possession.
As quickly as it had begun, the kiss ended, and his exploration of my body ended. I tried not to feel abandoned and ashamed. I tried to not show my disappointment, my fear. He must have sensed it, because he smiled. “Lay down on the bed, my love. I want to taste you, I want to know you by taste and smell the way my eyes knew you on sight.” Ever so slowly, I made my way to the cold bed with it’s slick polyester bedspread.
He laid me back, spread my legs, then disrobed. I watched him, like a little girl would watch her prince on the big screen, complete with fascination, longing, and total awe. His nimble fingers made quick work of the expensive shirt and tie, his chest and broad shoulders revealed, my mouth watering. Gone were the expensive dress shoes and the pants, and he stood before me as naked as I had stood before him.
Our eyes met, locked, and in an instant he was above me, the length of his body pressed against mine. My mouth parted to allow his tongue entrance, mimicking my thighs. He was warm and smelled of Tommy cologne. Ever so slowly, I felt myself drifting to that place where you lose all sense of time and location. I inhaled the scent of him, let the taste of his kisses linger on my tongue and lips.
Some dominants would have used chains to hold their submissives in place, but there was no need. I would not move from the position in which he left me as he ventured further south in his exploration of my body. First he suckled the left breast, then the right. A soft nuzzle here, a teasing nip there. A kiss along my soft, pregnancy marred stomach. Every place his hands touched, his mouth followed.
I felt his fingers slip inside of me, his thumb nestled against my clitoris. My hips rose to meet his hand, our eyes on one another, an ancient rhythm with a new lover. I could smell my arousal, and my cheeks flamed. I could hear my wetness, and I tried to turn away, to hide from hiz gaze, but this was my Master, after all, and I found it impossible.
He lowered his head and I felt his tongue take the place of his thumb. I bucked once against him, then once more. His fingers, like my own private sex toy, teased the secret spot within me, while his tongue never missed a drop. Over and over, I climaxed. My body trembled, my legs were like gelatin, and the blush that covered my cheeks now covered my entire body. He drank of me, without stopping, until the final shockwave had subsided.
I felt the mattress dip as he moved to lay beside me. I found myself pulled to him, cradled against his body. The body that made it through basic training, the body that made it through over twenty years in the United States Army, the body that he now whispered belonged to me. I was so proud to belong to this man. Strong, virile, sexy as hell, with a tongue like no other. I looked up at him, and I knew there was no going back.
I’d given the invitation with my eyes. I was ready to be completely his. He kissed me, like a man possessed, and situated himself between my thighs. The musky smell assaulted my senses, but it fueled his fire. In an instant, he was inside of me, in a place where very few had ever been allowed, and certainly none had ever been granted access to within the first hour of meeting. The thought made me shiver, because indeed, he was like no other man, ever. This was my Master, my Sir, my Daddy, the last man I ever wanted to feel inside of me.
I opened myself wider. I wanted him as deep in me as he could humanly be. He moaned in response to my whimpers. I arched to meet his thrusts, no longer caring enough about propriety to even blush. I craved him, as a thirsty man craves water. I felt myself flying, higher and higher, losing myself in the feel of our bodies joined together.
His whispered “Oh my God” and “You’re so beautiful”, even the thought of this man getting pleasure from my body, it was a powerful combination. I felt myself spiraling upward, to the place most submissives never reach, and as I reached the top, as my mind, body and soul reached that pinnacle, I was pulled closer into him. He was buried in me, so deeply it almost hurt, but it felt so right. I screamed, the fire inside burning so hot that I could barely stand it.
As if to answer my call for release, I felt his body convulse, his hard cock spasm. Over and over again, I felt his seed extinguish the fire he had started. Where there had only seconds ago been burning desire, there was smoldering passion and total possession. Where there had been only a man and a woman, a Master had marked and taken control of his willing submissive.
Amid kisses and whispered vows of devotion, I felt his arms encircle me. I felt his heart beating beneath my cheek as I lay my head upong his well defined chest. Coming back to Earth had never felt so sweet. Being loved had never felt so right. For a first meeting, finding my final destination had been easy on that hot summer night.
**A work of fiction; Originally published on Sensual Venus
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I like to think that I am just your average fat bisexual submissive housewife with a heart of gold. When I'm not battling cancer I can usually be found tackling the joys and pitfalls that come with being not only an ex-wife and a mother but also a sexual abuse survivor. I believe that healing is possible even when it comes to sex lives. And when our house finally falls silent at the end of the day I chronicle my journey for the world to see. My writing covers everything from relationships and marriage to sex advice pieces and sex toy reviews.Soon I hope to begin podcasting and other collaborative projects. And if you didn't know it yet, I'm a comment and email junkie, so don't hesitate to drop me a line.
