Courtesy of Sextoy.com

Since starting my site almost four years ago I have had the opportunity to partner with several different companies for reviews. As we move forward to what will hopefully be year five I have finally found a small number of reliable sources dedicated to bringing quality products to the consumer. The newest one is Sextoy.com.

The first item I will be reviewing is the Infrared Rechargeable Massager.

When it first arrived I couldn’t help but look at it in its clear plastic package and wonder what it was really used for. It came with three attachments which reminded me of something out of a bad sci-fi movie and I was more than a bit intimidated. Still, I know not to judge a book (or in this case, a sex toy!) by its cover, so I unwrapped it.

The head swiveled and I could see where the angle might be good for those hard to reach places. As a massager it really did offer a lot by way of bells and whistles. Sturdy construction, three unique attachments, swivel head, and infrared heat on the low setting. I plugged in the a/c adapter and waited the recommended twelve hours.

Once my twelve hours was up I took the infrared rechargeable massager to bed with me. Since it was marketed as a massager I used it as one. It felt great on my neck and shoulders, but massaging yourself is different than having someone else use it on you. So, I handed it to The Knight who proceeded to use it on my middle and lower back. I really liked the low setting with the infrared heat. It was a nice change of pace against my skin and seemed to help my muscles. All in all, it wasn’t bad.

Now, since this is a sex toy review, I knew I had to go down south with it. That is where the toy really disappointed me. If you have ever used a Hitachi wand and you’re thinking that this might be fun to compare, just forget about it. Not only did it begin to lose its charge within ten minutes of removing it from the a/c adapter, the vibrations were not intense enough to do more than tease my girly bits. {On the other hand, the intensity of the vibrations were just right for my husband and his man parts.}

If you’re looking for the best bang for your buck then I would suggest something else. If you’re looking to use this simply as a massage device for yourself and your partner then this is an affordable and efficient one to take a look at. Over all, it’s not the best product and it’s certainly not the worst product.

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For too long it’s been missing. For too long it’s been ignored. The dance of avoidance was well-practiced until it was almost an art form.

Then in one evening, with one conversation, it was there once more.

Desire.

My heart raced and my body began to respond as his hands caressed my skin. I sighed and arched my back, careful to press my body closer to his hand. In porn movies the women always purred or moaned but all I could do was sigh and arch closer. This was no porn movie.

I reached out to touch him. My fingers traced a trail from his hairless chest to his navel. He sighed and moaned then followed my movements and arched his back.

It crossed my mind to lick and kiss my way down his body. With a smile and a sigh I kissed his mouth then dropped to follow the trail my fingers had traced. His skin was salty and sweet and though I’m sure I imagined it, he tasted of arousal.

His hands found my body once more and I was certain I’d explode. We explored one another intimately and thoroughly, afraid that what we found that night would disappear come Monday morning. As his hands moved me into position for his entry I marveled at my own arousal. Despite the pain medicine and chemo, I was wet and ready for him.

It felt like we were joined for an eternity. He entered me slowly and took his time, sensually stroking my swollen lips and throbbing clit. He paused to lick my bottom then impaled me with his cock once more.

We came together and it seemed to go on endlessly in the most delicious way. Tears clouded my vision and my mouth was dry. When it was over my muscles ached and my body was shaking.

I loved once more knowing just how awesome it is to experience desire.

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It seems that I am sleeping a lot more than usual lately. The doctors tell me it’s a good thing, to go ahead and sleep as much as I can because my body needs the rest. One trip up the stairs and I am completely knackered, in a hurry to slide beneath the blankets and slip into his arms.

But there are other things that I want; other things that leave me breathless and yearning.

I long to feel his hands tangled in my hair as he holds my head to his crotch. I ache to gag and cough from taking his cock too deep into my mouth. I want to be held in place and have my mouth filled to overflowing with his sweet and sticky essence.

In my heart of hearts I want to shrug off the love. Instead, I want to find my wrists and ankles bound with rope. I want to tug and struggle while knowing all along that there will be no escape until he says so. I want to cry and let go. I want to lose myself in the man who wields the flogger.

Right now I am tired of holding it all together. I am tired of being in control. I’m fed up with the passing hint of passion. I want full on desire and lust.

I want to skip a dose or two of pain medicine so I can feel the full effect of his hands against my skin. I want to be present and I want to be on fire. I want to kneel and serve and be completely at someone elses mercy.

And in the morning, I want to trace the black and blue marks with my fingertips. I want to walk gently because my fat ass has been used well. I want to close my eyes and remember every second of torture and torment; every second of exquisite ecstasy.

I just want to be me.

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I don’t think I knew the proper way to give a man oral pleasure until him. With his hand wrapped around mine to show me the proper rhythm and a steady stream of whispered instructions my face burned. For as long as I could remember I was told how well I did when it came to fellatio. Now I was being told that there was room for improvement.

I wanted to please him, so I kept silent. I listened to what he said and struggled to get it right. Less friction. Mind the sac. Smooth and fluid motions, girl. That’s it. Like that.

My head filled with thoughts of leaving him hanging. I mean, how dare he tell me how to improve? Then I realized that I was being given an awesome opportunity. I knew we wouldn’t last. I knew that this would not be the last blowjob ever, so why not look at the whole thing as sort of a blowjob boot camp?

The weekend continued on and I soaked his wisdom up like a thirsty sponge. I practiced and pondered. I experimented and exalted. And when the weekend was over, I walked away knowing that the weekend had been a waste of time in every other way, but at least I walked away with knowledge that most women miss out on.

To this day I remember every second of that weekend with him. Every single time I lay between The Knights thighs and touch my tongue to the tip of his cock, I remember what I was taught. When I have teased and tortured just enough to make him squirm and thrust his hips upward in an effort to finish deep within my throat, I remember.

Then I swallow every single drop. Just like I was taught.

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Not too long ago I was at my local Barnes & Noble looking for ways to pass time. I’d received a couple gift cards from people who know what a bibliophile I am and I couldn’t wait to use them. In the section where I always find the most lovely journals, I found a write-in book titled Love Listography by Lisa Nolan. As a way to keep myself busy and you (the reader) entertained, I won’t fill it out. Instead, I will post my answers here.

List The People You’ve Kissed

• Jason K.
• Jason L.
• Jamie T.
• Jamie S.
• Tarius
• Eric G.
• Conte
• Matt S.
• Eric W.
• Rodney B.
• Rodney P.
• Anthony
• Brian G.
• Beckie
• Christie
• Holly
• Jenn
• David B.
• Dawn
• Kurt
• Amy
• Brad
• Travers
• Brian B.
• The Knight

{It seems as if I have kissed more than my fair share of people and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Actually, it kind of makes me feel cheap and sleazy. Still, in an effort to be more open, to find out more about myself and where I have been, I think this is going to be a good thing to continue.}

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What? Sex 2.0
When? Saturday, May 9 2009
Where? Washington, D.C.

If you are part of the sex blogging CommUNITY at all, then you have already heard about, read about, or written about Sex 2.0. I didn’t hear about it last year, but once I saw Match’s Tweet about it, I needed to know more.

I read about the event in 2008 and knew immediately that I wanted to attend, no matter what. Then as I read a little more I knew I *really* wanted to attend but as I am not a conventional sex blogger, I worried that the fit might not be right. And their session topics? As much as I’d like to think that I’m evolved and educated, the truth is, not so much. I mean seriously, fat chick like me at an event with people like Audacia Ray, Catalina, and Ellie Lumpesse? Yeah right. So I put it on my back burner.

Time passed and more updates came. I mulled it over, subscribed to the Google group and let it settle in for a few days. I did an intro and expressed that I had no real experiences, so even if I attended it would be as an observer, not as someone who actually had something to say.

I registered for Sex 2.0 mere minutes ago. I reserved two tickets, one for The Knight and one for myself. Whether I have anything to say or anything of value to add, this is an event that I want to attend. I want to hear what the fabulously evolved and educated individuals have to say. I want to walk away knowing that I learned something new, something that I can carry into the rest of my life and apply that knowledge accordingly and (hopefully) for the greater good.

Some of the people you will find at Sex 2.o 2009

• Audacia Ray
• CARAS
• Cunning Minx
• Elizabeth Wood
• Ellie Lumpesse
• Erik Van Riper
• Match
• Melissa Gira
• Nikol Hasler
• NoVaHedonist
• Renegade Evolution
• Sabrina Morgan
• Viviane

So won’t you take the time and spend the weekend in with me in Washington D.C.? (Not for me, but for all the people listed above!)

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Somewhere in the house there are other people; people with voices and thoughts and feelings but I can’t be bothered with them. Not now. Not today.

The headache is raging out of control. I wish for relief and find little in a small white pill placed on my tongue and swallowed down with Mountain Dew. Maybe if I could silence the voice, the internal commentary that runs on endlessly. Maybe then I could relax and free myself from hellish pain. No migraine ever hurt as bad as this.

This week it seems that I’ve barely been hanging on or hanging in. Sick kids, The Knight working from home and on almost constant teleconferences (yes, he extended his work from home time and it is a mixed blessing) and my father having surgery. Add the news that my aunt is terminal, my grandmother is worse, and the monthly heating bill was astronomical and one can see why I might be a wee bit stressed.

Only in the middle of the night does it seem I may find relief. The day’s over and the house falls silent. Only the sound of the T passing outside the door can be heard. I snuggle beneath the comforter and lose myself in his arms, content for a moment to be as close as two people can be.

The pain medicine begins to work just as his mouth finds mine. His fingertips stroke my skin, inviting a response. My mouth opens and soon my thighs follow. For a moment I am hopeful, thinking that maybe tonight is the night that it will happen the way I wish it would; without prompting or begging and without a fight.

He moves and positions us both, his hips against my bottom. His cock is hard and I know that once more he is ready while I am only just getting started. I sigh as he enters me, as he barely notices the fact that I’m not wet. I close my eyes and focus on the image in my mind, think of a time and place where sex was good and fulfilling.

He finishes with a low sigh and a squeeze of my buttocks. He presses his lips to the small of my back and whispers his love. With a smile and a “Love you, too” I slide out of bed as he slides back into his boxers.

In the bathroom, in the dark I find what I want and what I need. I empty myself, cleanse myself of his come, and I silently begin to cry. Finally I can breathe; at long last my world- my mind -is quiet.

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I want to grab him from his chair, take him by the hand and lead him to bed. I want to throw back the comforter and strip off our clothes in record time, in the still of this cold and snowy winter night. I want to press my body against his and kiss him like he hasn’t been kissed in far too long.

And when I have him naked, just where I want him…

I want to take him in my mouth and bring him to his knees. I want to pleasure him fully and completely, to have his moans and pleas fill our temporary bedroom. I want his hands tangled in my hair, pulling me further onto his cock just as he finishes, flooding my throat with his sticky sweetness.

Then I want to kiss him once more and beg him to join me as we try like hell to put the X in sex.

{Addendum: I was fortunate enough to steal him away last night and did just what I wanted to do- except the sex part. He came while I held his cock deep in my throat and almost immediately upon finishing proceeded to fall asleep. Very little satisfaction for this sex blogger!}

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It’s the usual way of things, I suppose. You find a rhythm, you settle in. You plan your days around it, you look forward to what each new one holds and you’re unwilling to let it change, no matter what.

When The Knight told me he was going to ask for time off, I was against it. I truly believed in my heart that all we would do while he was home was argue and fight and I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t want or need any stress in my life and I absolutely didn’t want to fight with the man I loved.

Still, being the dominant man that he is, he did it his way. He made the arrangements that I never thought he’d make. He reworked the schedule and arranged a telecommute. For the love of all that was holy, he was going through with it!

As much as it shocked me, it worked out well. We got into a routine. He wanted to care for me, to show me that I was a priority. When the realization hit me, I let go and let him. After all, how many women would give their right arm for a husband like mine?

Letting go was the best decision ever…for both of us.

I got the rest I needed. I was able to nap and conserve my energies, able to focus them on healing. He got the satisfaction he needed by seeing that he could care for me. As good as it was for me, I think it was better for him.

But those times are over.

He’s on vacation for the rest of 2008 then it’s back to work. I know it has to be done. With only him working as it is, times are tough. And really, I’m better for the love and care he has given to me. I feel more rested and better able to fight.

But I’ll miss him being here. I’ll miss our fits of laughter. I’ll miss our naps and our afternoon lovemaking while the rest of the world rushes by outside our door.

I’ll miss the safety and security that came from having him so close at hand, but I guess all good things must come to an end.

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Outside the snow had started to fall. The temperature had dropped and the house was finally silent. We had laughed and teased one another all day long, but it was late when we climbed the stairs and slipped between the sheets.

His arms pulled me close and held me tight. He whispered words of love and adoration, stopping in between sentences to kiss me and brush the hair out of my eyes. I sank into the mattress and into him, losing myself in the scent of his skin and the taste of his lips.

Without thought my hand slipped beneath the comforter and found his rock hard cock. I moved the linens away, leaving him exposed to the warm bedroom air as I stroked and teased the length of him. Barely a touch, never a grab to start him off.

“Kiss my mouth while you stroke me” he commanded.

He licked the palm of my hand and moved me back to his cock, past his gently rounded abdomen, then pulled me closer to him. My saliva slickened palm rubbed the head of his cock in slippery circles while I teased his mouth with tender kisses. Only a moment or two had passed when he whispered against my mouth, his tongue intermittently tangling with mine.

“God I want to fuck you!”

I kissed him a little more, pretending not to hear him. I moved my tongue to my palm and licked it, making sure to keep it moist while I teased and tantalized him. Only when he’s hard and wanting, yearning for release, do I feel sexy and seductive. I longed for the feeling, so I teased him a bit more before relenting.

“I want you in me” I muttered against his skin on my way to my hands and knees.

Seconds later he slid in, damp and sticky from our saliva. I moved against him, all but begging. I think I whimpered about loving the feel of him inside of me, about missing making love with him.

“I love you” he whispered gently.

His hands roamed my back and his nails left trails across my buttocks. He grabbed on tight and thrust, almost as if he couldn’t be deep enough.

That was all it took to send me over the edge. A good stiff cock and three little words and suddenly I was coming like there was no tomorrow. I struggled to breathe and wipe away the tears, thankful for the release but more thankful for the tenderness he’d shown.

{A side note-
I will be doing more toy reviews after the holidays. I hope to be feeling better by then and I hope to have more time. Things are crazy hectic right now, which I’m sure you all can understand.}

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