27th May 2006
Introducing…..The Butterfly Temptress
So you’re wondering who I am and why whatever it is that I may have to say is important. Don’t trouble yourself, because the truth be told- it isn’t. I’m a small fish in a big pond swimming my way into oblivion. The thing is, I’d like to get to know other fish in this big pond who may have a thing or two in common with me so that perhaps we can swim into oblivion together. Cheesy? You betcha. Sincere? No doubt.
I am the child of a severely dysfunctional family- but then again, who isn’t by today’s standards? My father (known from here on out to readers as The Sperm Donor) was physically abusive towards all of us and sexually abusive towards me. It’s stated as a fact, pure and simple. It’s not a cry for help or a ploy for pity. As a matter of fact, if you pity me it pisses me off. Let me tell you why-
I survived it. I came out on top. More than that- I broke the fucking cycle when they said it couldn’t be broken! That’s right ladies and gentlemen here before your eyes is a living breathing sexual abuse survivor who has NEVER harmed a child in ANY way. Those who molest children and give the sad pathetic excuse that it is all they’ve known, that it is out of their hands make me sick.(If you don’t like my honesty, don’t bother coming back because it’s not going to change.) Don’t even get me started on what I think ought to be done to those who harm children- it would take up all of this blog and then some, and let’s face it folks- we have a life to live, so on to the rest of the intro.
I am the oldest of two girls. My sister and I are nothing alike and we don’t pretend to be. She lives a life that I would never live and I don’t agree with the decisions she makes, but the bottom line is- she’s my sister and I love her. Therefor, we have a quasi-relationship that is based mostly on bullshit and butterflies, but she knows she can come to me if she is ever in need.
Along with a sister and The Sperm Donor(with whom I have severed all ties), God blessed me with a wonderful mother. She is not by any stretch of the imagination what I would call perfect, but I love her. She’s overcome some horrible things to get where she is and when I’m her age, I hope to be able to say that I’ve carried myself with such dignity, strength, and grace. People are always saying that we look like sisters and that we act like best friends and when they do, my response is always the same polite yet very heartfelt “Thank you.” I am my mothers child and the days when I look in the mirror and think that I may have become my mother, I’m proud of it.
I’m an imperfect mother to two perfect little girls who by some miracle are both beautiful and intelligent. My oldest is 9 and my youngest is 5- they both look like me, but the youngest is definitely my “mini-me” in more ways than one. Being a parent is tough and there are days when you want to run away screaming, but all it takes is one smile, one glance at their sleeping forms snuggled under the covers to make it all worth while.
Recent additions to my life include the following: My knight in shining armor(The Man) and his three handsome errant knights to be. I knew nothing about boys before they came into my life, so it’s been an adjustment for all of us. We’ve had our moments, our temper tantrums, but all in all, it’s working out quite well. (More on The Man in upcoming posts, I promise!)
So there you have it- me, in a nutshell. Interests, pet peeves, and lots of sexual content will be included in the future, so please check back often.
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