29th Jun 2006
Behind The Layers
{I’m doing this in response to the post found on A Spanking Good Time. I also hide behind my exterior, the personality that I present to the public, so opening up and being brutally honest on here seemed like a good thing to do. Now you all will know what few others know.}
My Personality:
- I am shy, especially around people I don’t know
- I am naïve and often too trusting despite my past
- I am eager to please
- I prefer non-verbal communication (writing, email)
My Sexual Preferences:
- I am bisexual but I need and crave the strength and security of The Knight
- I love the soft sensuality that only a woman can offer
- I love cunnilingus (giving and receiving)
- I love to give fellatio
My Fears and Inhibitions:
- I’m afraid of being attacked and raped
- I’m terrified of being left alone
- I’m afraid of guns, snakes, and heights
- I’m afraid of being unloved and unaccepted
My Strengths:
- I am compassionate
- I ache for those less fortunate than myself and for those who have been hurt
- I love unconditionally and forever
- I write to set myself free and it strengthens me beyond belief
My Weaknesses:
- I am quick to think the worst, even when there are no signs of it
- I take everything personally
- I hold others to a higher standard than I hold myself to
- I have no self-esteem
What I Like About My Appearance:
- My eyes (the color of fine whiskey)
- My hair (its auburn, a natural mix of chestnut, copper, and blonde)
- My lips
- The soft, rounded curves of my body that make me a woman
My Background:
- I was abused and raped as a child by my father and two of his brothers
- I was sent to boarding school so my mother could be with my father
- I had an abusive father but I no longer speak to him
- I’ve done many hurtful things over the years
What I Love:
- Music that moves me to tears
- Watching my babies sleep peacefully, knowing they will never suffer the way I have
- Reading books that reaffirm my belief that love heals all wounds, conquers all
- Playing video games with The Knight and our collective children
What I Loathe:
- Anger, hatred, violence, lying, and war
- Abuse and mistreatment
- Feeling helpless or afraid
- Invalidation
What I Could Take or Leave:
- Shopping (for anything)
- Life in a small town
- Organized religion
- Virtually all of my worldly possessions
My Favorite Foods:
- Cheesecake
- Steak, chicken, and seafood
- Salad with fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and italian dressing
- Dairy Queen Blizzards
- Coca-Cola
- Evian water
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